Life's Game

whitneysavageau
Feb 3, 2019
3 min read

before i moved out to Minnesota after graduation.. the first person i told about how much i was feeling and what i was feeling.. the doubt, the pain, the excitement, the stress, .. looked at me and said, "how can you help everyone else, if you don't help yourself first. if this is going to help you, you need to go." and i looked at her and kept telling her i was scared; scared to leave my family, my friends, my entire life - even though this was everything i wanted.. a job in the city and to live in the city. she then looked at me and said.. "if you need someone to tell you that it's okay to go - Whitney i can tell you, it's okay." .. and from then on i was going to do everything i could to get what I've wanted my whole life.

some of you know I've moved into my new apartment. and that's been my second biggest move in my life, aside from moving out of state away from everyone i know.

its only been about two weeks, the adjustment is hard.. but i'm working on it.

I've managed to get most of it together, while trying to get my life together,

but i this has been my dream...

since i was ... 12? possibly 11. the one thing i have always wanted (and the only thing that has been consistent in my life of what I've wanted, was an apartment in the city.) shit changes all the time, life throws so much bullshit at you and there are times that you just might not know what you want anymore, or you lost sight of what you wanted, or your mind changed.. and that's okay. (AND REMEMBER - YOU CAN ALWAYS CHANGE YOUR MIND. YOU CAN ALWAYS CHANGE WHAT YOU WANT. YOU CAN ALWAYS DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND NOT HAVE TO ANSWER TO ANYONE ELSE.)

ITS A GAME., every day. your choices (or the moves you make if you want to consider it a game)

there are countless decisions to make in a day.. (countless moves to make to get to where you want to be.)

there are things you need to take into consideration when making the choices for all decisions, you think of all the different outcomes - a lot of times there are simple decisions you just don't think about and you just do because you're very decisive; others you think a lot harder, give more effort. - but really the only thing you need to consider is that if it will make you happy. .. if it doesn't make you happy, or doesn't go toward making you happy - why are you doing it?

life might be a game. but the only person playing, is you.

your life, your game.

everyone has their own, but think of it like this.. everyone that you encounter is only part of your game.. good people in your life, like tokens that you hold and never let go. bad things that happen, or bad people in your game send you back to start.. to create an experience to learn from and grow form.

but also know .. since this is your game, you get to make the rules. you get to change how its played. you don't however get to pick what you start with, or the rewards you get. you also don't get to chose who you could end up hurting in the process.. (unless you're hurting someone out of bad intentions like spite.. which you shouldn't be doing anyway. but sometimes people don't make the best choices, anyway) that is life and in life, you'll end up hurting people; friends, family, sometimes significant others.

now just because you might hurt someone does not mean you need to feel bad for doing what you need. (i'm not saying it doesn't matter who you hurt, or that their feelings don't matter.) but you shouldn't just ignore what your needs are because it's going to hurt someone else.

you cannot make everyone around you happy, or help them, if you don't help yourself first. .. just like i was told before i left.

all i needed to help figure out what was going to make me happy was someone to tell me that it was okay to do it. it was okay to do what i needed to do to help myself before i can help everyone i love.

so if i need to be that person, to tell you that your next move is okay to do.